My greatest regret

The year was 2014. I was happily living and working in Calgary. Life was good.

I was the weekend anchor at CBC, had a great family of friends and Calgary had really begun to grow on me–in a way I hadn’t expected. Even today, it’s still one of the few Canadian cities I’d consider moving back to.

Then, one morning, I got the call: the weekend show was being cut and I was being laid off.

I was absolutely devastated. My life in Calgary was as good as I’d always hoped it would be and then, just like that, it wasn’t. My bosses at the time were very gracious, offering me help to relocate to Ottawa or stay on as a casual, but there was something about having a contract… I’d been a casual at the CBC before and when I finally moved up to the contract level, going back to being a casual felt like regression. Finally, the CBC and I were in a semi-serious relationship—full-time was the next step, right?! I mean they liked me! They really liked me!

I think that’s why I took the layoff so personal—even though there was nothing personal about it. I internalized everything about the experience. In taking it so personal, the weeks prior to my last day were…a less than flattering time. I was bitter, fam. And I did not hide it. From anyone: not from my bosses, my colleagues—it was all out there. And it was not cute. I am not proud of the way I handled myself. Even though I had a job lined up fairly quickly in Ontario, it didn’t ease the pain of being let go.

Just four months after leaving Calgary and relocating to Ontario, I received an unexpected call: my old boss from CBC Newfoundland was now at Global BC and he wanted to know whether I was interested in an opportunity that’d come up. About two months later, I was packing my bags again: Global BC invited me to join their team.

Recently, some students asked me whether I had any regrets. Whenever I reflect on the last fifteen years, this is the one that always comes to mind: I regret not having enough faith to believe God would work everything out for my good (Rom. 8:28). I cannot describe how bitter, anxious, scared, upset and frustrated I was during those months in 2014. From the moment I was laid off until I was recruited, emotionally, I was a nervous wreck. Looking back, there was absolutely nothing to be worried about: God always had a plan.

The takeaway: the comeback is always greater than the setback, so don’t let the setback distract you. If we let them, our setbacks can steal our joy, our peace…our hope. But what if we looked at our setbacks differently: what if we allowed them to deepen our resolve? Since 2014, I have experienced setbacks, but I don’t allow bitterness to take root in my heart. I’ve learned my comeback is always just around the corner.